Adult Friendships

Adult Friendships. 

If I'm honest, I don't think I have been very good at cultivating them. 

In my young adult, pre-married days, hanging out with close friends was easy. We hung out, did crazy things. Lived together for a small bit. We were all part of the same religious group. So our world's were very connected. 

In my young adult, married life, it still was hashish, but definitely not quite the same. I threw my whole being into my marriage, but all while not knowing what and how and really anything about making a good marriage. 

Got pregnant right away, and then my life was baby and husband.  And to top it off, moved when Abby was 5 months old. 

But we moved where close friends of ours had moved, so we were able to reconnect with them. And for the next six years, they were our best friends.   

Those six years past, and they moved to Hawaii and we moved back to our mutual hometown. Up in the frozen half-north. I still say God has a sense of humour directing us moving in two directions to vastly different climates. Can you see who His favourites are?

Coming back here, I had a couple friends to reconnect with, but it wasn't the same. We either were on different pages of life (kids, no kids) or we had been apart too long and our previous BFFness was now just good acaintance-ness. I tried to make some friends with other homeschool mom's, but after a few years, things seemed to fizzle out. 

So why can't I keep friends?  I'm not great at long distance, I feel disconnected. I worry that this friendship thing is all my fault because I feel to busy to organize any kind of meeting together. Or am too. Busy to actually do anything. I worry that people are off put by my weirdness. 

This has devolved into a pity party. Without any chips and dip!

New People

 I have new people to introduce you all to. In 2014, our lives were graced with baby Elle.  While obviously not a baby anymore, she was a fantastic, happy baby. She is now 7. (7! Says my mom brain).  And in 2016, we were also joined by Sig. She is now 5, and we are so thankful!  She was not the easiest (that is my mild way of putting it) baby/toddler/preschooler to have around. I love her, because  but am so thankful for forward progress. Yay!

Ok, intros done, now back to my mundane thoughts.   Though maybe I should choose a new name for them. My counselor has had me trying to watch my self-help. Spoiler alert: it's usually negative. 

Word to remember:  consistency

Back From Wherever I Was

What is this?  Is Erica writing a post after almost a year of silence here?  It cannot be! Yet it is.  I have actually sat down a fair amount of times over the last year and started to write something, but I always end up deleting whatever I put down because I feel like it's not good enough for the few (very few) people who do read my little blog.

And I realized the other day, that I do this same thing in life.  I want to do something, I want to do something, but then I start second guessing myself.  I think about how it might look to others.  I think about what others might want to hear.  I think about what they will think about me.  And then I get so overwhelmed that I do nothing.  And I am sick of being a person who does nothing.  I'm sick of feeling so damn apologetic over everything I do.

And the thing is, nobody cares!  If I want to write about the mundane things that I do everyday, so what?  I doubt anybody will spare a thought about it.  Seriously, who is going to read it and think "Well, what an idiot that chick was."

So that is my little ramble through my thoughts regarding me today.  Now I have to go figure out what we are going to attempt to do in school this week.

Potty Tales

I care way too much what people think of me.  Even people I don't know, have never met.  It's almost like a self-centred thing; I could swear that people look at me and instantly are thinking of everything that is wrong with me.  When really, they might glance over me and move on with their day.

But this is not a deep, thoughtful post about worrying about people.  Nope, this is to share what a trip to the potty looks like in our household.  Because of course you all want to know that.  (Don't worry it's not MY trip to the potty!)

The reason I mentioned how I care about people's opinions is because Leigh is still potty training and she is going to be four in two months.  I believe that she should have grasped the mechanics of peeing and pooping in the toilet by now.  And I believe that people will think the same thing.  I know, not to compare children, but Abby was trained by 2 1/2.  And before we moved, I thought that I saw the light at the end of the potty-training tunnel.  But since we moved she has seemingly regressed to a small toddler.

The thing is, I know she knows everything to be done.  I think that she even knows when she has to go.  She just doesn't.  She can be in the bathroom and if I'm not there to help her, she will pee on the floor in front of the dryer, rather than hop on the toilet two feet away.  Okay, that's not totally fair.  She did go by herself once this morning.  It is improving.  See, it helps me to write it out and see the progress.

So usually my dear Leigh does the dance.  Crossing her legs, squirming, and eventually dropping to the ground because she has so much trouble holding it.  Even with all this, if I ask her if she has to go, she usually says no.  I hustle her to the bathroom and even though she is capable of doing it all herself, I have to bring the stool over and help her take her pants off.

She does her business, after which she always asks, "Now I get a candy?" Which I assure her that she does. And then I remind her to flush because she would just run out of the room if she could.  After I ask her to flush she will always (and I mean always!) say "Don't leave!"  About 4 months ago I left the washroom once before she was done.  Apparently it left her with separation issues.

Then we go to the kitchen and get the current potty candy available.  Right now it is Swedish Berries for pee and a Chupa-Chup (is that how it's spelled?  I'm too lazy to go check) for a poop. And of course Abby gets a candy just for being the sister of the trainee.

So that is the potty training ritual here.  Probably more than anyone ever wants to know, but hey, at least I didn't describe all the poop I've had to clean up.  Seriously, I have some stories.

Let me know if you have any tips or tricks that will get your child to use the toilet.  I could use all the help I can get.