Sunday, November 14, 2010

God Truly Does Answer our Prayers

I've been drafting this post for like a week.  I just seem to get too busy to finish, and I didn't want to slap up some half-finished piece of work.

Awhile ago I wrote about my stress over the decision to go to church or not.  It was a huge deal with me.  But God saw and heard my stress and totally reached down and helped me.  Two Sundays ago we were at the Pentecostal church here in town, and I was busy trying to occupy the girls.  Abby was really good, but Leigh just wanted to run around and around.  I was glad to finally drop her off at the nursery.

After I dropped her off there was a few more songs in the praise and worship.  I sang the songs, but I could sense that I was holding myself back.  I find it hard to explain exactly how I felt.  I tried to pray, to focus myself on God, but I found that I was very distracted by the music, and my own critical thoughts of the whole service.  So I went out to our car. 

I sat in the front seat and started to pray and this time it was easy.  Through my mind had been going the memory of a time 6 years prior, before I had left the church I had then been attending, when I asked God if I was supposed to leave the 'organized church'.  I heard a No.  Well obviously I left anyways.  The reason being that I thought that the no I heard was just my mind, I didn't think it was God.  So as this is running through my mind, I prayed and asked Him if I had been supposed to leave the church back then.  And God told me, No, I wasn't suppposed to have left.

Wow, now that was a big, big revelation.  I made a mistake, and one that seems like a big one.  But I am glad that I had the courage to ask.  So I then repented of leaving and not heeding His voice and asked for His forgiveness, which He gave to me!  God is so good.  I asked afterwards if I was supposed to attend this church here, but He didn't say.  He just told me that He was going to change my heart.

I went back into the service, though I spent the majority of  the time in the nursery with Leigh since she was crying.  But last week we went again, and I felt a HUGE difference.  I wasn't critical of the praise and worship, and I was able to feel my heart enter in, I didn't hold myself apart.  And perhaps the biggest change of all is that I actually have a desire to get invovled in church programs. 

I am glad to have a peace about this.  I know that getting back into the swing of things will be a process, and I don't even think that we will go all the time either.  We didn't go today because our kids kept waking us up last night.  But I do feel that this is where God wants us so that is the best place to be.