One of Those Days

Today was a day; not an ordinary day where even though you may not want to do your housework (who does?) you still do it because you just have to. No, today was one of those days. The ones that come to me sporadically, though more often than I care to admit, and being with them a lethargy that defies definition.

All day long I lack motivation. I see all the things that I could and should be doing yet I can't muster the energy to get off my lazy butt to do them. I sit around and let the kids veg out with me. That is probably the worst, that I drag my girls down with me.

I guess it's never too late to get started, and actually I have. I did a quick clean so that my hubby would not be frustrated with a messy house when he got home, and that actually turned into a bigger clean than I intended so I'm glad for that. So fear of my husband's disapproval got me motivated today. I wonder what other people use to get motivated.

How Do You Follow the Leader When You are the Leader?

How did I ever get to be an adult? I think that before we are allowed to be considered adults and have children, God should administer a test. Or at least have some criteria to fill.

I am a chronic follower. If possible, I will always let someone else make the decisions. But I am ashamed to admit it because all around I see and hear of these super-moms. They are capable of making millions of decisions in a single instant, like what to have for supper, what to play with the kids, how much tv is too much, to homeschool or not, what curriculum to use, what to do with the toddler while working with the preschooler. I think I feel overwhelmed.

I have been trying to plan what I want to do for the year with my three-year-old. I would like to have a sort of sit-down time every day, to ease her into the school feeling. We have been very easy-going and laid back with our girls so far. I don't have a strict set schedule for our days at all. I have Biblestudy once a week that we go to but that is the only thing. We don't even attend a church so the girls don't get practice sitting still there.

I have purchased a Bible stories craft book to do with Abby. And I also have 'Slow and Steady, Get Me Ready' by June Oberlander, but I haven't done any of the activities with the girls yet.

I think I just need to get my butt in gear and do what I am constantly talking about. I think I'm scared of failing, but anything is better than nothing.

Removing the Stick

Do you know who I am? Because if you do, I would like you to tell me so that I can know too. But wait! That's not right, I am actually trying to stop relying on other people's opinions and trying to please them by being who I think they want me to be. So off with all the covering up layers that disguise the true me, I will not be ashamed of who I am because God made me this way.

The reason for this resolution is that o am tired of all the work it is to try to be perfect. Also, I have realized that by trying to male a so- called good impression, I am not very fun at all. I act like I have a stick up my bum. And I don't want to be boring, I want to be fun! I want my husband and me to goof around together. I want my kids to play with me. I want to wear bright coloured clothing and accessories and not feel like a little child.

So here I am. Take me or leave me.

The First Dentist Experience

Abby had her very first visit to the dentist today, and we both survived. And not even just survived, but there was no big, screaming fit either! She didn't want to lie down on the chair, but she sat on my lap with her head in the dentist's lap and was fine! I was so relieved. I was prepared to be sent from the room while they forcefully held her down.

But I really liked the manner of this dentist, he was so patient with her, and he explained everything so well to me. Definitely a good experience.

Abby does have some cavities, but I already knew that. So the plan to fix those is to take her to the hospital and put her under general anesthetic. I am glad that we can get them dine, but it feels a little hard for me to think of my girl going under. But the appointment isn't until November 2, so I have plenty of time to get used to it.

Vacation Highlights

•Wrangler's Pro-Rodeo Tour. My hubs and I spent an afternoon at the rodeo and really enjoyed ourselves. The little kid's events were among my favorite. Who wouldn't love watching 50 kids chase a calf and try to pull a ribbon off it's tail?

•Lunch at The Noodle Hut. We gave been waiting months to taste their Chinese food. There is none other that comes close. They are a tiny little restaurant but make the BEST Chinese food ever. I can't say enough how good it is. I already miss it!

•Fall Fair Parade. The kids really liked it and so did I. What with moving away and working before that, it had been years since I had watched it.

•Quadding. I rode behind my hubby on his quad on a trip down to the river, and I realized that I had never had an opportunity to do fun things like this with him before, not even when we were dating. I really enjoyed it. I felt like a teenager again, only better because I'm married to my "crush" and I had a beautiful family waiting for me at home.

•Free Babysitters. Need I say any more?

•Realizing how much I love my home now. Nothing against my old hometown, but I love my life down here. I am glad for my vacation because it showed me so clear that I am doing the right thing.

•Being with my awesome family. They are so encouraging, telling me how good I'm doing. It was a nice boost to my self-esteem.

•Watching Leigh bond with my Grandpa, her Great-Grandpa. It made his day, and it made me wish we were closer.

•Watching Abby bond with my Mom. My Mom is pretty special, and Abby realized that too.

Vacation Musings

We only have 3 more days here before we head home. The first week we were gone it felt like the time ahead was so long, but now it feels like it went by fairly quickly. My hubs doesn't want to go home yet, but I have to admit that I miss my own home and life there.

I feel guilty for missing my home since all of our family live here but I can't help it. The guilt of moving away is something I still deal with. Maybe not on a daily basis anymore, buy still often. I am sad that my parents and my hubs' parents don't get to see all the everyday cuteness of our girls growing up.

Yet the guilt and the longing to be closer to our families are not enough to entice me back North. I love the scenery of home, the weather, the atmosphere of the small town not driven by the oilfield. It is now truly home to me. So I will stay there and maybe I can convince everyone to move down there with me. (though maybe in a neighboring town since it can be stressful having too much family in the same place!)

Teaching The ABCs

*I lost the whole draft I typed so this most likely won't be as nice as the one I had already written. Lucky for you, you don't know what was already written so you're not missing out.*

Lately I have been reading books about how to teach your child to read. I have even purchased a couple phonics primer program books to use when it comes to be time to actually teach her that. I know that she isn't ready for phonics instruction quite yet, but I do want to make sure that she has all of the pre-reading skills that she needs.

Among those skills is recognizing the alphabet letters by sight and knowing their sounds (duh). Abby doesn't yet. She knows the alphabet, but she doesn't recognize any letters except for O and the capital A. And I wonder to myself, at what age do other kids know their letters and sounds?

And yes I know that I shouldn't compare to other children because each one is different, but if we moms are honest we all so it.

Anyways, I have been making some alphabet flash cards for Abby. Nothing fancy, just the capital letter on one side and the lowercase on the other. I decided to try th out with her today. I took the A, B, and C. She recognized the capital A but called the lowercase A B. But after the first round of me asking her what letter this was and then helping her if she didn't know it, she grew bored and wanted to play with the cards and wasn't focusing on me at all. We ended up in a big fight over this, resulting in her going to her room.

This felt supremely discouraging to me. I had hoped that we could get at least ten minutes on the cards. I guess that I just need to have patience since she hasn't ever really had any kind of structured activity in her life before. So I will continue with the cards, and hopefully I will be able to one day report that she knows all the letters.

Pack It Up

If I had the dull blogger app for my iPhone, I would upload you a picture of my bed, which has about a thousand articles of clothing on it (my girls' and nowhere near all of their clothes). But I am nothing of nor cheap and I declined to pay the two dollars, or however much it was. I know that I will eventually cave and buy it, once I make sure that I am posting regularly. But I was talking about clothes. We are going on vacation, up North to visit our families for two weeks. And it is up to me to pick and pack all our clothes for this. How do I choose?

My first try, I soon saw that there was no way it was going to fit in just one small suitcase so I considered using two, one for each kid. But I didn't think that they would both for in our car along with the big suitcase for me and Hubs so I has to do a weedout of the clothes. I ruthlessly left out the shirts and skirts and pants that weren't on my absolutely-love-it list. And, I fit it all in!

I hate packing.