Monday, June 13, 2011

Good Morning Girls Book Club - Week 4 (ok, and 2 and 3) Thoughts

I am horribly behind in my reading.  I am just starting chapter 4.  I don't even want to admit this because I am doing my reading during my quiet time with God.  So if I haven't read in a bunch of days, then the obvious conclusion is that I haven't even sat down to read God's Word either.  Wow, that's a horrible confession to make for me.

But I can change!  Right! 

But even though I'm not "caught up" I am still wowed by the chapters I have read.  It totally brought tears to my eyes.  I probably could have sobbed for quite awhile actually, but I held it in since I was in bed with my hubby and he was watching some TV show (can't remember what now).  I didn't want to interrupt, haha.  No, he wouldn't care, but I seem to have a disinclination against giving in to crying.  Maybe it's a sign that I am trying to be strong and rely on myself and not give into weakness.

Anyways, off-track.  Everything she writes about feel like it is hitting me, BAM BAM, right in the heart.  Holy Spirit has been convicting me over so much.  Especially the encouraging words.  I realize that when the girls mess up, I can tend to say some mean, sarcastic things, like "Do you really think that I wanted to spend my afternoon cleaning up the bathroom?  Why on earth would you turn on the water under the sink?  Do you think this is fun?" 

What does that do to my girls?  Do they feel stupid, or embarassed?  Oh my heart aches when I think of all the idle words that I have spoken without thought.  It is so wrong of me to just let my emotions control me.

And the other side, to speak encouragement to them.  I need to do that more.  I know that I do try to praise them when they do good, such as sharing a toy or treat, or even asking me if I'm ok when I get hurt.  but I also want to speak life into them.  To observe and acknowledge their strengths, and to help them build on those (with God's help of course) and also to help them take their weaknesses to Him. 

I guess what I want is to show them the Father's love and to have them know how much He loves them and for them to love Him back.  That's what this mothering thing is about. 

This was a little more personal and revealing than I planned.  But I shouldn't be ashamed because I know that our Father forgave me and I don't want to put on a front that pretends to have it all together.


Jolanthe said... Best Blogger Tips

Girl ~ Thank you SO much for sharing your heart and being honest and transparent!!! I am being so convicted too by the Holy Spirit. :) Know that you are not alone in your struggles!!! So thankful that we have a Father that loves us and helps us!