Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Who Doesn't Have Children Just to Get a Higher Score?

Some days I still feel like a petty, competitive high schooler.  Because of the fact that I still feel like life is a competition and I have to try to "be better" or ahead of others.  I've said before that I compare myself to others even though I know I shouldn't.  And I am definitely working on that with God too.  But obviously the journey is still closer to the beginning than the end of my responses to the news of others having babies, for instance.

Yay for babies!  I'm glad for my friends who are having more.  But it gives me some frustrating feelings.  One, Baby Fever!!!!!!  Oh my goodness, all these babies and talk of babies and what not, I just need one!  2 1/2 years old is no longer baby enough.  And two, the competition thing.

I have a Facebook friend who was married the same year as me, and also has two kids like me, just a little younger than my girls.  She just announced that she is having another baby this summer.  And then she will beat me.

Isn't it pathetic that that was me first thought when I read the news?  That she will beat me?  Just because she will have three kids before me, doesn't mean she's better.  It doesn't make me less.  Yet this is what I feel, with her news and others as well.

My good friend here in town has a daughter who is almost 8 now.  And I constantly feel like I'm behind in the game and will never catch up because her oldest daughter is older than mine.  (And I know what she is going to say when she reads this!  She will probably be like "Oh Erica!  That's ridiculous!"  And then she would give some good, godly encouragement.  she's so good at that.  Thanks girl!)

I need to get it through my brain!  It's not a game or competition or anything resembling that!  God knows all of us and our futures and what we need when we need it!  So stop stressing and just live my life in God's love.

Tomorrow I will share my car frustrations with you all so you can be frustrated with me!  Hahaha.


Heidi said... Best Blogger Tips

Hmmm... An 8yr old. That be an early start for you.

Erica said... Best Blogger Tips

I know. It's ridiculous!