Motherhood Award, Maybe Not Here

Last night my kids didn't make it to bed until 8:30.  Well, maybe that's when we walked up the stairs so it really was later than that.  Oops.  I should maybe get a bad mama point for that.  If I was into keeping track of that kind of thing, which I'm not.  Really.  I may sometimes think that I'm not the greatest mother to ever live, but if I'm really honest, I know that I do alright.  Definitely not all the time, but sometimes.  I could do a lot worse.

Like today wasn't the greatest of days.  I got up sort of early (before 7) and even showered (Hallelujah!) but then my early alone time was not-so-alone time because Leigh was up when I came out.  So that's ok.  She ate some cereal, and sat with me some.  I ate my breakfast and then sat in my chair, and read a little of the Word.  But then I sort of dozed in the chair a little.  And I have determined that that doze is what killed my day.  I should have forced myself out of the chair and gotten my blood flowing and my day started.  But instead it sort of made me feel a little lazy and off.

So my day was therefore lazy and off as well.  Abby slept in until 9:15 which is another point that I'm tossed on, whether I should have woken her up or not.  Since we homeschool, I let her sleep.  I had some arguments in my head going, saying that we need to maintain a routine and keep with it and yada yada yada.  But my girls rarely sleep in anymore (they used to sleep in all the time) so I figured that letting her have the one day wouldn't kill either of us.  Besides, we didn't take yesterday off school, and all the public school kids did.  :-)

So today the kids just played and watched tv and played and did whatever else we felt like.  A bit of a lazy day.  Which is fine, I know.  I don't have to be go go go all the time.  But the only reason I feel guilty is that I know I could have done even a little bit better.  I could have done more, like maybe the laundry, especially since I don't want to get caught with 4 large loads of laundry and a broken washer like I had this last Saturday.  That wasn't fun.

Oh well, today is over and I am really trying to learn to just accept the fact that maybe I didn't do something perfect, maybe I was even a little wrong, but it is done now and I can only try again tomorrow.

I started writing this to contemplate whether I should go make my children be quiet and get back in bed since they are currently playing upstairs.  This has been a parenting question for me ever since Abby started sleeping in a big girl bed and was able to get out on her own.  What are everyone's thoughts on this?  Typically I just let them play, as long as it isn't for hours and hours and hours.  Ideally I think that I would like them not to, but well, I'm kind of lazyish so I tend to take the path that involves less conflict.  Tell me your thoughts.

Now You Know What I Wear Under My Day Clothes, Lucky You

Guess what?  I got me some Spanx!

Yes, I purchased a Slim Cognito Mid-Thigh Body Suit.  I will admit that I was very very excited waiting for it to come.  And it got here last week.  Or I should say it was at the gas station over the border waiting for me to pick it up since last week.  I've only had it in my actual possession since Tuesday.

I think that in my thoughts, or more like my dreams, I figured that the Spanx would change my life.  Not like drastically or anything, but I think I was hoping it would make me look at least a size smaller.  Because I've sort of given up on the diet thing for the last few weeks.  But that's a sob story to be told another day.

So this new body suit was to make me look and feel good.  And it actually does make a bit of a difference.  Just not the huge one I was hoping and crossing my fingers for.  So I was a little let down with the actual results.  And that just serves me right for being lazy and hoping Spanx could do what I wasn't willing to do (exercise).

I was actually going to take some pictures for you all to see of me in my glory.  Don't worry, I would be wearing clothes, not just Spanx!  But I just haven't gotten around to it so you'll have to wait with patience.

So the point tonight is that Spanx is great and helps smooth over you lines, but get off your lazy butt and just exercise once in awhile Erica and you would be happier and most likely a few pounds lighter too.  (That line was solely for myself so please don't think I'm yelling at you)

I'm All Alone With Only Myself For Company, Somebody Help Me!

I have a few things I want to share with you but our only camera is my iPhone and I don't have the sync cord since Mark is gone for this week and took it away with him.  I know we have another one somewhere, but I don't know where it is.  So what is the point in sharing things with no pictures to go along?  It kind of makes a bland post, I think.

So instead I will whine to you all about how I have to spend 3 nights all alone (well, obviously not completely alone, since the kids will be here) while hubs is out of town working.  I admit, I cried on the phone to him.  I'm horribly whiny and mopey when I'm the one left home alone.

Yet I am totally gung-ho when it's me who gets to go somewhere.  Like last summer when I went to Chilliwack and Nanaimo for a week.  And in just two months I'll be headed back north for a quick trip before going down south to the Okanagan for my sister's wedding.  All while leaving Mark at home.  Though he will join me for the wedding.  I should probably feel sorry for him, since when I go, he is COMPLETELY alone because I take the kids with me.  At least I get a warm body to sleep with.

And what about all those families where the husband has to work on the rigs for weeks at a time?  I have it super easy compared to that.  Or military families.  Obviously God knew that I wouldn't be able to survive any kind of deployment.  I barely survive a weekend.

And you know what is the frustrating thing?  I was missing him a lot and feeling super lonely, and was glad he called before heading to bed.  And I still fight with him!  I mean, couldn't I put things aside and just let them go?  Why do we have to fight?

It's probably because I'm hungry.  I'm frantically dieting at the moment (so I can fit my dress for the wedding) and have only lost 7ish pounds since I started.  Ok, so when I write that down, it actually seems like a bit of an accomplishment.  But I think to me it doesn't count because it's 7 pounds that I regained after my last weight loss, on top of gaining back what I had lost.

But now I'm tempted to go on a rant about weight loss.  I won't subject you to that...tonight.  Tomorrow is fair game.

Good night, pray that I am able to sleep.

Newness

I have two new things in my life today: bangs and boots.

Here are the bangs

It only took about 5 tries to get a photo that was sort of centred, mostly clear, with no cleavage taking over the screen.  But isn't Leigh super cute?!

I love my new bangs.  I had a few before, but they were wispy and tended to mostly look greasy and lonely.  My friend cut them for me and at first I was needing a little adjustment time but now I am in love.  How did I live before?  I think I look so much better.  I pity my previous self for looking so pathetic.  :-)

And the boots

A photo on might show them off better, but meh.  I bought these throw a Facebook buy and sell group.  These again were an adjustment, but now I love them.  Though I don't think I have many clothes that are worthy to be paired with them.  And I have a desire now to try to wear them with a skirt but I think that might be too daring for me.  We'll see.

I got lots of compliments on my boots.  Okay, by lots I mean two people, but still!  It's two of my friends so that means lots to me.

New things just jazz life up a little and I was needing that.  I was contemplating trying to rearrange the furniture in my room but I don't think my hubs wants me to do that.  Plus I don't know if all the stuff would fit in the room any other way.  

I have lots of ideas for organization in my house, but I don't have all my items to do that, so I kind of feel stuck in that area.  Like I want to organize all our craft supplies, and my scrapbooking stuff.  I was planning on buying a cabinet at Christmas, but that fell through when we needed to fix our truck tire.  But I still hold onto that idea.  I have decided that I might be able to put supplies in boxes or baskets or something and use my baby change table as a shelf, since I'm not using it for babies currently.  But then I need more boxes or whatever.  And I don't want to buy them here, since they're like expensive, I think $5 at Extra Foods.  There is a Dollar Tree (which is pretty much my favourite non-secondhand store) just an hour south of me in Idaho, but I have to get my passport renewal sent off before I can go down again.

So those are my thoughts tonight.  Glad you were able to share them with me!

Of Headaches and Julia Roberts

This day sure got away from me.  I had our Ladies'/Moms' Group this morning at my house and it was a nice refreshing time for my spirit.  Encouraging me to keep it up and seek God.

But after lunch my head started to KILL me.  I had gone to bed late last night, so I attributed it to that.  I am not much of a napper, but I figured it was worth a try since the headache wasn't going anywhere.  I locked the door, threw the Netflix on the Wii (since the kids can work that remote and not the XBox one) and went to my room to lie down.

An hour and a half later I had yet to even doze.  ARGH!

So I just gave up and vegged on the couch all afternoon.  I texted my husband to see if he could come home early since the kids were driving me nuts and I was responding very poorly but he couldn't.  Can't his boss see that I am a poor, sick woman who needs a break from needy children? (Did I sound pathetic enough?  haha, his boss is actually mostly good if I'm seriously ill and can't deal on my own, which isn't often)

And then hubby had to go to youth tonight, so he wasn't home very long before he left again.  So now I'm on my own.  But my head isn't quite as bad as it was before so that's a bit of a relief.  I am going to go watch some nice, light chick flick soon and possibly eat some popcorn for supper.

And while doing this I am not going to stress and worry about the state my house is in.  The dishes aren't done, no laundry is done, the toy room is a sort of mess (it's actually usually worse) and my floor needs to be mopped, for the second time this week.  When I get my own house, I am so making sure I have a floor that does NOT show every little speck on it.  So annoying.

So here's to Friday nights at home alone.  And not in a lonely way. In a I-can-watch-a-cheesy-rom-com-without-sarcastic-commentary kind of way.

Cheers!

A Very Random Recap of Our Christmas

I could NOT get into the holiday spirit this year.  I don't know what it was (truly, I don't), but I was dragging my feet all the way to Christmas Day.  One evidence of this: I have a stack of Christmas cards that didn't get given out.  And that doesn't even bother me!

In my brain, I love the idea of creating some Christmas traditions for our family.  Things like have a Decorate-the-Tree evening, where we make hot chocolate or some other tasty drink and eat tasty Christmas snacks and decorate the Christmas tree together.  That didn't happen this year, since we didn't do a tree at all.  

I had really really wanted to do a tree this year.  People are surprised when I admit that we have never had a Christmas tree in our family since we've been married.  Various reasons for this include being pregnant, just moving, being out of town, not wanting to police the tree from little fingers.  But I thought that I could handle the policing this year, and that the girls would enjoy putting on some decorations.

But it just never worked out, so there you go.  The only Christmas decoration I had up was the centrepiece I made at the ladies' night out.  Which was a nice one, but looked oh so lonely.

Another Christmas flop for us was Christmas Day meals.  We had planned to make a Scrambler for breakfast, and individual pizzas for supper.  Well, guess what we found in our fridge Christmas morning?  No cheese.  Oh sorry, two teeny tiny pieces of cheese.  Not enough for anything.  So off scurries Mark to 7-11 to pay $9 for 400g of cheese.  I may or may not have peed myself hearing the price.

But it wasn't all bad.  This year for opening our presents, I borrowed an idea I read over at Living Life Intentionally.  The idea was to let the kids open and play with presents as they went, if they wanted to.  I liked that idea, since it might let the kids appreciate their toys and not get a more-more-MORE mentality as they hopped from present to present.

So we tried this and it seemed to go so well.  We stopped and put together toys (and wow, do some toys have about a million parts.  With no instructions).  And we played.  It took us much longer to get finally done, but at the end, it felt good to me.  It felt like how I have hoped Christmas Day would feel.  Relaxed and together.  

Who Wants To Know What Erica Thinks Late at Night

It is late.  Yes it is.  This is not an unusual fact since this time of day (or night) comes every 24 hours.  Yes, brilliant conversation I know.  But what is not so usual is that I am not asleep.  I usually shut my lights out by 11.  Ideally this would be 10 but lets face it, I almost never reach my ideals.

Case in point, ideally I should be sleeping.  I am not.  So obviously I need to work on hitting my goals more often.  Since I am forced (sort of, technically I guess I'm forcing myself since it's my own brain keeping me from my comfy bed) to be here, therefore you shall be forced to read my late night thoughts.  I'm scared, and so should you be!

Does anyone else have troubles falling asleep?  I know my mom has the same issues as me, and I suspect that my oldest daughter does too since of the times I've slept with her, she takes forever to settle down and sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night wide awake.  Seriously, WIDE. 

My brain refuses to shut off.  That is my problem.  It just keeps thinking of this and that.  The things I didn't do today, the things I did.  What I should do tomorrow.  The statistics of whether I actually will do them or not.  How long it will take to lose my weight.  When will we have more kids.  Am I really going to be able to teach my kids at home?  Am I crazy for wanting to try? 

This list could go on, but I'll stop there and spare you the agony of reading it.  It must be boring reading someone else's thoughts.  Well, when they are randomly posted like this.  But oh!  I have a great sort of "praise report" thingy about my being up late:  I haven't snacked on anything yet!  That is a miracle.  I have discovered these last few years, that I eat just to fill the time (eating is so much more fun than mopping the floor yet again).  And especially in the evening I like to snack.  So it is a huge thumbs up to me for not consuming any food as I type this.

Well, I think this might be enough late night rambling for you all to take in.  Maybe I'll be able to sleep now that I've wrote this out for you all.  Or maybe not.  It's not like I actually wrote anything of substance tonight.